| Questions | Answers |
|---|---|
| What's the best way to go about getting a table/bottle service without completely breaking the bank? It's Vegas so of course it's not gonna be cheap by any stretch but do you have any tips to get the most bang for your buck? | Stay away from clubs that have a Major Dj/ Act on that night. Fridays and Saturdays are the worst. They'll price you according to how many people you have. For example at Encore beach club, if you have 6 in your group they'll price you at $1k-1500 to start with. Night clubs usually start at 4/bottle. If you have women with you get them inside through a guest list. They'll get in free. Example, its 4 guys and 4 girls they'll want to get you on a two bottle minimum. Instead have the guys walk in for the one bottle minimum and let the girls know what table number youre at. TA-DA! Youll also get just enough seating for 4-6 but fuck it, youre in a club so get up and have fun! |
| Its all about real estate. If you just want to have a table to enjoy your own space and not have to worry about waiting at the bar then get a table situated off the side. Also give hosts a hard time, don't just say YES to the first offer. Maybe see if they can throw in a bottle of champ or something. Or a buy two get one free. | |
| Whats the craziest thing you've seen in vegas? | Craziest? uhm sex inside clubs. Sex in cabs. Sex out in the open. A girl once was sooo fucked up that she was walking around The Aria with only a bikini bottom and a fishnet top. That's it. Fishnets used to catch Whales so a whole tit, and she had very nice sized tits, pretty much was hanging out. You could see a wave of jaws drop and conversations stop as she walked by with her drunk friend and their two guy friends. Ahh memories. But all in all, drugs, sex, and money being spent on the craziest things. Hobos fighting with themselves. Brides-to-be doing the walk of shame. Craziness. |
| Walk of shame? How do you mean? | Still in the clothes that they wore the last night. Usually because they spent the prior night with someone that they shouldn't have. But its Vegas, spend your night with whoever you can!!! Yaaay! |
| Hobos fighting themselves? Like, Tyler Durden style? | I saw a hobo talking to himself. He then got mad at himself and started punching himself in the gut. I didn't know who to put my money on. |
| Helix or dome fossil? | Helix. |
| What is the biggest scam on the strip? | Id say paying for club passes that are to be had for free. Biggest scam is paying for these wrist bands that promise you no line, no cover, and open bar all night. And its on a night when Tiesto or Zedd is playing. Yeah right, youre showing up to the club and they'll laugh at you. And after you tell them that you gave $30 to someone that seemed honest and even gave you his/her number. I once met a group of 26 girls from a sorority from AZ that each paid $25. After I told them that it was fake two out of the seven girls started tearing. I got them on guest lists to access the clubs for free with one offering an open bar. Was happy to alleviate some of the pain. |
| Oh shit, I forgot! The guys that bring out their tables on the strip and do the whole follow the ball thing. The people winning work with them. Watch them, they'll win and make sure they let out a WHOOO really loud and make sure people are looking. They lure in others and make it look really easy to win. I once saw a guy lose $1700 and a thick heavy as fuck gold chain in less than 3 minutes. he got on his knees and asked for some of it back . The guy gave him $200 because the idiot said it was the last of his money and was with his wife and three kids. Greed I tell ya. | |
| It's always hard for me to believe that in 2014, people actually still fall for that shit... I mean, it's completely unmodified, it's literally a movie cliche scam. | Exactly. I'm like really. Really people? I once saw a guy paying out $300 to 3 ladies and 2 dudes for helping. Imagine what he kept. |
| "A fool and his money are soon parted". Sounds like vegas exemplifies this adage? | I pondered how to answer this question for too long. Short and simple... yes. Perfectly. |
| What's the best way for a middle-aged couple to do clubs? We love the music but feel ridiculous (which kills the fun) queuing up with beautiful twenty-somethings. | First off, you wouldn't be the only middle aged couple. I see them all the time. Some just kick back and drink and then some are dancing all night and don't give a shit what anyone else thinks. Let me know what days you are here and I'll put you on some guest lists so you don't pay cover. |
| Where can I find those hot dogs? | At the Casino Royal, next to the Venetian. All the way in the back. Michelobs for $1 at the bar at the entrance. |
| What about the shots? | Bally's Casino. Taco joint in the back. |
| Sunglasses inside a nightclub. Fucking douche-bags or clever way to hide pupil dilation? | Fucking get the fuck out of here. I cannot say "fuck" enough when I see those idiots in the club. I hope they slip on spilled beer, fall on sticky residue and get up right when the confetti is shot out. |
| Did someone stab you with sunglasses or something? | No, they stabbed me with audacity... audacity to wear them inside a club. I guess its because I'm a form follows function type of guy. Sunglasses inside would only be ok when you're covering up a black eye from a beat down or your bloodshot red eyes would give away that you've been on a drug binge. |
| This is a long shot, but my friends and I are going to be in vegas for EDC, we plan to stay a week, is there anyway you could hook us up when EDC is over? | Sure. Text me before you're here and ill let you know what I can do. Worst case ill be able to do a reduced cover. 7736200454. |
| You are now in my phone as Vegas promoter. I do Vegas about 6 times a year. So expect a text soon and if your down I'll buy you a few beers. | You had me at "Beers". |
| Hey DisasterBUSE, got a question for you. I'm not really a club guy but I do like to go to bars. What are some of the better bars in the casinos that are good for someone who just likes to have a few drinks in between gambling. Also are there any good rock clubs in Vegas? If so, what are the called and where are they? | The Wynn and Encore are very lively at night. If you want to gamble and drink with a great view, that's the place. Venetian, Palazzo, Bellagio, Aria, and last but not least The Cosmopolitan ate great places with great energy. The clubs SurrendeEncore Beach Club and XS have gambling tables in case you'd like to soak a little of the scene in while playing a few hands. |
| How's papa Giorgio? | Not sure but I think he might look something like this nowadays. |
| Going to vegas for a cousins bachelor party from May 14 to 18. I am a student got any tips for me to be money wise? as the people I am going with are all older professionals with money. Any hook ups? thanks! | Do most of your drinking at slots, tables. Ill put in $10 in a slot, and sometimes not even gamble at all. Cocktail servers come around and ask if I want drinks..."two vodka/tonics please" and tip her $4. If youre doing any pool parties and not doing bottle service you might want to get tickets before hand since theyre cheaper than paying at the door. Flasks flasks flasks! Let me know if I missed anything that concerned you. |
| In all seriousness, I'll be in Vegas for the opening weekend of the NCAA tournament. Know of any awesome places (besides the casino sports books) to catch the games? | Bars off the strip are always great. No pressure and decent pricing on booze. unless youre willing to pony up and do Lagasses place at Venetian or something. |
| What's the most common misconception about clubbing and how do you correct people about it? | That theyre impossible to get in, theyre not fun, expensive to get in, girls are hard to meet/ leave the club with. The club I work for 75% of the times im able to get couples in free provided that they show up early. On slower nights Im able to get uneven ratios in (more guys than girls) or give tickets that grant free entrance. And the ladies. To me they all look the same BUT its hard to get over it. Ive seen guys pick up ladies super quick and they only had a beer in their hand, you don't need a massive table with free drinks galore. Theres a lot of girls in the clubs that have awesome personalities but have their guards of because theyre just not comfortable with being groped. Approach them in a non creepy way and youre golden. I see this every week. What surprises me is how many people come to vacation here and are just total Debbie downers. The most amazing thing about this place is that people come here to have fun and dance theyre asses off, even when they have no clue what theyre doing. Walk in to a club through a guest list and get in free, have a drink and enjoy an amazing sound system. Even if its for 30 min, I feel its large part of the Vegas experience. |
| Good answer man! I'd love to have your job | Theres a lot of bad that come with the jobs. A significant other will not be happy with your phone blowing up until the early morning. A lof of girls are absolute bitches and think the whole world owes them something for having their tits out. Its a hustle and with every "NO!", "EWW", and "I HAVE A BOYFRIEND CREEP" you have to keep on and hope the next says yes. And please note, I always approach with something non creepy like "Hey ladies sorry to interrupt, have you been invited to see Macklemore & Ryan Lewis tonight on a guest list"? |
| I've always wondered you guys must get paid pretty good money right? (There was one particular promoter I always stuck with until he recently moved) but this guy had an assistant and took nice trips I kinda just always wondered how that system works. And do Diplo and Dillion Francis put on good shows? I wanna see either one sometime soon | Great question. First off Diplo is at my workplace tomorrow night so best believe Ill be instagramming tons of Videos. All of Maddecent are awesome. Dillon Francis and Diplo are both awesome. Tons of ass shaking tomorrow for sure! |
| So everyone pays differently. I only work at SurrendeEncore Beach and have a day job so my time is limited. So Ill breakdown promotions as much as I can. First off there are different types of Promoters. You have the ones that work at a club like yours truly. Since I only work at SurrendeEncore Beach club, which is run by Las vegas Nightlife Group. I only get paid for people that come to my club. XS and Tryst are owned by the same people and we are all located at the Wynn/Encore. You then have Tao Group, Angel Management Group (AMG), and Light Group. Tao clearly has Tao, Tao beach, Marquee and Marquee Dayclub. AMG has (or had, Hakkasan just bought the group out). Hakkasan, Wet Republic, Pure, LAX, Chateau, Venus, Coyote Ugly, Saville Row. LG runs Light, Daylight, Haze, 1Oak, The Bank and a few lounges/restaurants. Tao group promoters can have guest lists at all their venues so if they leave a group with a great impression and they check in on their guest list at all joints then the person just made $ times the number of venues they checked in. Light Group usually confines their employees to one club, unless they need help filling out another (which they usually do) and allow them to be paid (I waited 8 months to get paid by them, I don't like the way they manage their places). AMG varies as well, I heard some are only focusing on Wet and Hak but heard that before they had to have a certain amount check in at other properties. With all this said, if youre a good promoter, hardoworking, and have a good network, 1k a week is a cakewalk. Even 2k can be done for the greater part of the summer. I know of a guy that can make 4-8k/wk and its all through his phone. Money can be real good IF you work hard and hit high numbers. Ill elaborate a little more later on tonight if anyone wants me to. I need to head home. | |
| If you feel like elaborating, what's the difference between the 1k a week promoter and the promoter making 4-8k? | Well if you don't bring any people and ate not being paid hourly then you might not get a check at all. Those that are successful in this biz network hard, are usually seasoned, and are good enough to the point that clients want to go back to them and refer them to others. Ive heard of hosts being flown to exotic places, gifts being custom made as gifts, and so on. Its really like any other sales job, many do it, some are good, few are great. There are also many ways to make money. You can book hotel rooms, sell packages, etc. where you receive a kick back. When done right its a win/win/win. |
| What's are your experiences like with the Vegas drain dwellers? Any good stories? | Theyre all over the place. Usually just getting drunk and laying out on the sidewalk. I pay no attention to them. Some have demanded money and when I tell them I have no cash or simply say "sorry, cant help ya" at times can get very aggressive. Then they fall on their ass or something. Comical most of the times. Look at them too long though it becomes depressing. The sad thing is I see a lot that are soo young. There was this young girl with a sign that read "pregnant with 2nd child and cannot afford anything. please help". I sat down next to her and asked her why she was out there. I asked if she sought help. I was baffled that such a young person could be so out of luck. She proceeded with a story about her losing her Social Security Income when she moved to Arizona or something. When she moved back they denied her or something along those lines. In the end it seemed like she lost hope and possible gave up too quickly. She said she didn't have family to turn to. Those are the moments when I realize that I am lucky to have a great family that would take me in if I ever went near that route. |
| Whats a good tip to you afer helpi. Some people out? | I don't ever expect to get tipped. I get paid by the club. There are always people who value what I do and slip me a $20,$40. The most I've ever been tipped was $160. It was for setting up someone with table service at a few clubs. Tips humble me, just buy me a shot and we're good! |
| Show up at club with a big line. What amount should you slip the bouncer to let you in and a date? What would you say? I'm always afraid i'll hand over a hundred bucks and he'll make me wait in line anyway. | Depends on the club. If its just you and a date Id say start at $40. Order of difficulty to skip the line from hardest to easiest: All guys> More guys than girls>even ratio mixed group>all girls. That being said if its just a guy and a girl then Id start out at $40, they might come back with $60-$80. If you feel like pulling their bluff thank them for the help but youll just wait in line. Sometimes they'll see $40 better than nothing. Imagine if he does that 10 times a night? Not bad... |
| Another thing you might want to think about is say you just left at a restaurant that's in the casino. Id probably use the whole "My buddy So-and-so, manager at ___, told me to come check it out. I forgot the name of who Im supposed to ask though (maybe guess a name). Can we go in and check it out"? Worst case scenario is they say no, next is they let you pass and you pay cover, best thing is you walk in no line and no cover. Ive met people who have succeeded. | |
| I read your comment about tipping and whatnot and how its not really necessary. i went last august with a group of 12 for my buddy's bachelor party and we got tables at light on a friday and lavo on a sunday. we tipped on both occassions, as i was under the impression that it was proper etiquette. for light we gave the guy a little over 200, and he was able to move us from a table on the 2nd floor in the corner to one that was pretty close to the main floor for the same bottle minimum (we had planned on giving him that much anyway before he moved us). at lavo we hooked the guy up with 100. were we too generous? or is that pretty standard? | A 20% gratuity is always on the bill plus 8.1% tax. Now, with the $200+ you gave the host you then bettered your real estate setting in the club. While you don't really have to tip your host its customary to throw them a bone. You can get your table and have everyone leave you be except your busseserver. Start tipping security and they will make sure the crowd stays clear of your area. Tip your host and they seat you at a better table. Tip a "girl-guy" and they will bring you hot ladies. Now with that last one be very careful, ladies that table hop are very thirsty and the only way for them to stay alive is to have a constant source of alcohol. Party too hard and your 2k table has turned into 8k. Or your 7k has turned into 22k. Ive seen this happen at many clubs. If you just hit it big at the tables or hit a progressive at the slots then fuck it, LIVE IT UP! (Im kidding, save a small town from hunger). |
| Do promoters make a huge difference in cutting the line, hooks, and discounts, and saving money? Rather than just walking into the club blind? | A good promoter wants your experience to be soo awesome that they contact you on their next visit or mention their name when a friend has Vegas plans. That said, our guest lists offer no cover or reduced entry. Express entry is only done when their at the ropes and have an incentive to get you inside faster. If youre a dude youll probably have to tip someone off to skip the line. When I come across a couple I always offer to set them up somewhere else the following night. Its simply good business and I believe in paying it forward. Before I moved to Vegas I made a trip with my SO and I know how hard the city can be without a hookup. I put myself in their shoes and do what I can for them. I always provide pics of my club and explain the whole line/open bar situation. I don't lie to them just for them to get in, it comes back to bite you in your ass. |
| So what's the best way for an international tourist to get some good coke? I've heard it's best to hire a limo and ask the driver. What do you think? | Be very careful. Vice (undercover cops) are all over and look the role they are playing. I once was walking in front of the Bellagio fountains and within a matter of seconds a couple of men, tattoos on their necks and all, went from talking to a guy one second to quickly pulling out their badges and handcuffing the man. All I heard was "under arrest for possession and intent to..". |
| I'm a you get guy and I like older women, what are the best spots to meet them? Just to let you know im23 so older form me is 30+ | Check out the pools, casinos. There a ton of HOT older ladies. A difference between them and younger chicks: Mature woman have no problem having a drink, laying out, or just walking by themselves. You'll find these that are here for a convention and have nothing planned for the night. Whenever I get them on my guest list theres a 90% chance they'll show up. Two weeks ago I had a large group of 9 woman show up. Every. Single. One. Was. Hot! |
| What is the incentive for someone under 21 to visit Vegas? | To make it to 21 and join the fun! Now you have a goal. youre welcome. |
| I kid, kind of. I approach many under 21 and they all look like theyre having fun. I don't even think theres a curfew so you can at least people watch while sipping on whatever. The city never sleeps. Jump on the roller coaster at NYNY or head to Strasphere and have some fun. Lots of walking and selfie opportunities. | |
| Are there ways to get a table at a club for free? | If you have a group of great looking girls or have a local ID then yes, its possible. Youll only have to pay tip. $70-some odd bucks per bottle instead of $600 and change? not bad. |
| Does a promoter like yourself just walk up to us and say "hey, want a free table?" | It depends. For a group of all ladies and if theyre cute I can get them a table with champagne bottles for free. The clubs want pretty ladies in so some places offer then a free dinner and a free table. Every club is different. But if theyre hot my first questions is "so how many girls/guys with you" and when its all girls then its a go. Some clubs require a picture of all girls, it then has to be sent to a manager to approve the group. |
| Is that the real Caesars Palace? Did Caesar live there? | It was faxed it over bit by bit starting in the 60's. Yes Caesar lived there. Ordered tons of room service. |
| How often do people offer you drugs/money/sex in order to get into clubs? | Those younger than 21 are willing to give me their first born just to get in. I get offered tons of things, Im not surprised anymore. |
| Has anybody ever told you that you look like Ami James? Like if you tattooed your neck and stuff I swear you could pass as a double. | No but I see a resemblance. I always get Vin Diesel or Willie Nelson. Ok maybe not Willie. |
| What suggestions do you give for a small college restaurant/bar in terms of bringing people inside? Also what do you NOT suggest doing? | Suggestions like what works to get them inside your place? |
| Any place really! I've seen just about everything in my city but most bars here are dead(50-100k population being students alone!) | Its really location specific. Im from Chicago and Vegas is a whole different ball game. We deal with people that are here for a short amount of time. In the end though all places want bodies inside their place. Motion created commotion so if youre in a place that's packed and fun people want to stay and consume more. Most important, get bodies inside the club/bar early. Before 11 is key. That way any propect walking by sees that its busy and wants to be part of the fun. Does this make sense? |
| What would you recommend as far as afterhours edm parties go? | You might like Artisan. The times that Ive been there its been nothing but deep house and some edm. Really weird décor too, worth seeing. Body English and Drais usually mix it up. |
| What's the craft beer scene like? I've always been a fan of travel, and love checking out the local craft breweries/brewpubs in an area. | Sin City brewery at a few casinos, Big Dog Brewery, Banger Brewery in Downtown, Chicago Brewery to name a few. Yard House carries a few local brew I believe. |
| Chicago Brewing, at Rampart and Ft Apache was my stomping ground for the two years that I lived in Summerlin. I loved that place. Decent food and beer, and the upstairs bar area was perfect for baseball viewing. Good memories, thanks for reminding me of it. | I remember watching my first Bears game there. I got Goosebumps seeing all the people with their jerseys on. Refreshing in this transient city. |
| Hey, thanks for the AMA. What's the deal with dress codes at various clubs? Does it depend on night/weekend? Heading out to Vegas with a bachelor party in June, curious to get your thoughts on this and strategy for a group of 15 drunk idiot single guys. | You know, even I don't know. I mean if you're put together in a presentable manner than you shouldn't have a problem. If you stick to collared shirts and nice shoes then you're good. No athletic wear, no hats. Sometimes chucks slide but id rather you be safe than sorry. Clearly the day clubs are lenient on dress code, still no athletic wear. If you have a club in mind text me and ill make sure to find out what it is they are/are not tolerating. |
| You got me with the the VIP pass? | Hit me up and if I have tickets I don't see why not. |
| Whats the best nightclub on the strip? | Define Best and Ill tell you which one. |
| Surprise me. | My favorite is XS. Hakkasan is the latest and greatest. It cost $100m and was named Nightclub&Bars best top club for 2014. Light inside the Mandalay Bay is awesome. I like Surrender because its an outdoor club with a dancefloor inside (I don't like being shoved every two seconds). Tryst is also cool with a 90ft waterfall. Marquee has always done well and is a must visit (it also gets too crowded for me though). It really depends if you like dancing in the middle of the dancefloor, what kind of music you like, outdoor vs indoor. Then you have your older clubs that still have a following like Pure, Tao. Maybe its because they've been around FOREVER. |
| I fly around a decent amount, if I wanted to make Vegas a frequent destination how could I get in contact with you? | Buy calling/texting! 7736200454. Christopher Landeroz. Texting is way better, I can reply whenever. |
| Too bad doubles are 25$ there lol. | Yes, a simple sprite sets you back $7. $10 at Hakkasan! That's why I tell people to load up at a slot so you only need 1-2 more when you're inside the club. But the place is awesome. Awesome can be expensive =/ |
| Do those mexican guys on the Strip throwing phamplets at anyone actually manage to get people to call those escort lines? | I talk to a few on a regular basis. Super nice people sweating their asses off and getting paid very little. According to one of them theyre just there to pass them out for a company. They almost never see a bonus for it. If the people they work for still have them up and down the strip passing them out then people must be calling. I don't know too much about the escorts you get from calling those numbers. I do know escorts that work for themselves though. Some of those chicks make tons of dough. |
| Do you know my cousin Tiffany? | Does she own jewelry stores all over the place? Make pretty lamps with stained glass? Kidding. |
| Should I know her? Does she work there? | |
| She used to work at surrender now she works at light. | Server? Promoter? |
| I'll be in Vegas for edc weekend. Any chance you might be able to hook it up with guest list? :) | Sure. I'm pretty sure we'll have some major talent that week. Message me sooner than later. |
| What are y'all gonna do when the water runs out? | I should be back home in Chicago by then. Maybe swap out water for Vodka or something. |
| Promoter. | Tae? |
| Yea, tay. | Didn't talk to her much but yes, I remember her. |
| Leaving for Vegas tomorrow for Spring Break/My Bachelor Party! Any way to to get a sweet deal on your club for Saturday night? | Madeon will be there Saturday night! Text me 7736200454. |
| My fiancee is bringing me to LV for my birthday in April. Any tips on birthday hook ups or perks I can get out there? We're staying at The Wynn. | Your hook up is right here! Text me or message me. |
| I'll be there next week, any chance you could hook me up? :) EDIT: It'll also be my 21st Birthday! | Of course! message me. |
| Wanna hook me up VIP style for my 21st in July? | Why not! Message me! |
| I'll be there with my best friend in two weeks for her birthday. Any way you can help us out? | Yup! Message me! |
| I highly recommend the show Absinthe in Las Vegas. I was there about two weeks ago and the show was AMAZING. Although, the humor in the show can be a bit vulgar so if you're offended very easily then I wouldn't recommend it. | This. Ive heard nothing but good things about Absinthe. |
| I am going EBC when it opens March 29th for my birthday. Can I contact you for bottles !! | Yes. Text me! Number is on my instagram profile or message me! |
| I'll have to check it out from Australia sometime :) | Aussie Aussie Aussie!!! Aussies have to be some of the best people that come out. Super friendly, party hard, and uhh party hard! |
| Headed to Vegas the weekend of April 11th for my cousins bachelor party. Staying at Hard Rock. Need some direction on clubs! | Message me, and Ill let you know whats hot. It usually boils down to hip hop or house (and don't get me started on todays "hiphop, Im oldschool but whatev), outdoor or indoor, daytime or night? Ill point you the way. you cant go wrong with the clubs at the Wynn/Encore though. Don't pay for anything online, sometimes they can be had cheaper here. Example: strip club packages for a bachelorette/bachelor party online charge $30-50 when I can get you the same thing for $7-45. A group of girls from back home (Chicago) were referred to me. For some odd reason one of them decided to buy a package for 9 girls. Turns out they overpaid by $135. Its the internet, they know that people like to preplan so they get you like that. Knowing what I know now Id book a room in advance (but would probably willing to try the last minute hotel sites, Ive heard great things about them) and tickets for clubs if it was all males. |
| So i'm going to vegas for the first time starting the 12th of march for my 21st birthday/ mountain west tournament trip what do you think the best clubs and pool parties are to go to to get the whole first time vegas trip experience | Are you the one who text me already? If not then here it goes: (shameless plug) Surrender its an indoooutdoor club. We book talent ranging from hip hop, trap to EDC, Dubstep. While there check out XS and Tryst. Hakkasan at MGM is new and pretty big. Light at Mandalay Bay is new as well. Great lighting and "powered by Cirque du Soleil", meaning performers hang from the ceiling and behind their LED screen. Marquee at the cosmo has always held their weight. Both indoooutdoor. You then have Hyde, Pure, Tao, Moon, Ghost bar and many others. During the day I'm pretty Sure Ghost bar dayclub (GBDC) and Lavo Brunch will be going on during the day on Saturday. Basically they're clubs open during the day. Encore Beach Club might be open and a few others. Those dates are right on the cusp of pools opening so its TBD as of now. Message me and ill see what I can do for you. |
| You mean you're a mexican immigrant who flips cards at people? Or you're a strip bar "concierge" who wanders the strip getting bachelor parties to go to Treasures? And those cheap beers and tequila shots are available at the Taco place in Ballys... duh! | Yes, glad I made myself clear. And not everyone knows their way around Vegas, just trying to help. Thanks for your contribution to the cause. |
| Questions | Answers |
|---|---|
| Describe the secret world of truck stops like for drivers. Is it like little monsters? Secret passageways? Unspoken codes? Something about Mary? | Not really, we usually eat, shoot the shit with other drivers in the restaurant, shower, and fuel up (yes most truck stops have showers, and for the low price of 75 gallons of diesel, or 10 bucks you my friend can experience one) Some truck stops have pool tables, and a tv lounge where we can sit and watch tv with the other drivers, and some of the more dingy ones have prostitutes and drug dealers walking around, but those two are rare to find. also most truck stops have arcade style games, and depending on the gambling laws there may be a little casino...incidentally alot of casinos ave parking for big trucks |
| Don't forget the part about hassling the guys that work in the shop. | Bahaha that too, and of course watch the rookie that decides to back in next to you even though theres a bob tail parked at the back of that spot |
| Lol. i worked at the TA shop in Denton, TX a few years ago. | I dont trust TA to do more then an oil change, the one in Hebron, Oh changed an air dryer on my truck, and did it improperly, I lost most of my air coming down a mountain because of it. |
| What's a bob tail? | A bob tail is a tractor with out a trailer, if you look at the picture of my rig I posted for proof, that would be a bob tail rig |
| Were you a company driver or owner op? | I was a company Driver, although I would have liked to get up to owner op , its exspensive as all hell |
| Whats a lot lizard? and how do i catch one? | A lot lizard is slang for a prostitute that hangs out in truck stops, though rare at most truck stops now a days, there are some dingy ones where they hangout, and they will not hesitate to knock on the sleeper while you are trying to sleep...Believe me you dont want to catch one, because when you do, you dont know what else you might catch |
| Once a trucker alerted me to boulder in the middle of the road, in a particularly bad downpour, saving me and the car - did you feel you have an extra responsibility on the road as a trucker? Do you have any helped someone out stories? | Personally, yes, I feel like truck drivers have a responsibility to do what they can to help people stay safe on the road, we log more miles and have infinitley more experience, so doing what we can to warn other drivers that is seen as a hazard is always a good thing. I have only stopped once to help some one out, I was going across Georgia in the summer time, and it was hot as all hell out side, an elderly couple had a flat tire, and was trying to put the spare on, so I pulled on to the shoulder, gave them each a bottle of water and changed it for them. However the thing you have to be aware of is that some people will fake breaking down, or thumbing for a ride as a way to steal your rig, and whatever goodies are in the trailer. I have a strict say no to hitchhikers policy, but am always for buying them a meal, or giving them some water. |
| Forgive my lack of automotive terminology...What kind of transmission do you drive? Was it considerably more difficult to learn than, say, a 5 or 6 speed in a car? | The trucks my company had were Manual 10 speed transmissions, I have a picture of the shift pattern somewhere, but its not that difficult to learn to shift, essentially our transmissions are two 5 speeds stacked on top of each other, with a range splitter, so there a are 5 positions for the shifter,in two ranges, gears 1-5 are splitter down (low range) and go up to about 10-12 mph, gears 6-10 (high range) are with the splitter up and go from about 12-15 mph to 65 mph (My companies trucks were governed at 62 MPH)...the only other difference is instead of single clutching I either double clutch, or float which is shifting with out a clutch, Big trucks can do this because they lack Synchros in the transmission to match up rpms |
| Why do you need 10 gears for a range of 62 mph? Do you double clutch in order to brake more effectively or what is the reason? | What newbie said, however it is possible to single clutch a truck (although not good for it) or float the gears, where you essintially just push on the shifter at the right rpm, and don have to use the clutch |
| I understand that truck drivers are under tight deadlines. I also understand that loads can be heavy and braking is not something someone wants to do with a heavy load. That said, I drive cross-country frequently and it seems like lots of truck drivers take unnecessary risks on the road, from boxing in cars (again, unnecessarily) to tailgating. Why do they do this? For instance, you would understand that the center lane gives you the most options. If I'm in the center lane, and the traffic in the left lane is moving much faster than I'm driving, why do trucks push me (tailgating + high beams) into the right lane when there is a highway entry ramp coming up? I understand the rush, but you guys log so many miles, it seems like any truck driver should know better? | Honestly, some drivers are just complete idiots, however most interstates place lane restrictions on us, so we are only allowed to be in the right lane or the right two lanes depending on factors like how wide the road is, and if there are any steep slopes, there really is no smart explanation for drivers that tail gate and force other drivers to do things, and some drivers think they are invincible, and above the law. Now if there is a fairly steep hill, and a driver is tailgating you going up the hill, the angle may appear to be his high beams, and he is trying to keep his speed up to keep from downshifting as long as he can, our trucks cant climb a hill or grade at high way speed when we are loaded (and some times even empty) so we have to down shift and take the loss of speed to gain the power to climb the hill...another reason a driver might tail gate is if you are going below the speed limit, or royally pissed him off, but other wise there is no good explanation for tailgating with a big truck, that driver is only going to screw himself when he gets caught...as for boxing in, its just something that happens, I have seen it done twice on purpose because the driver of the car that got boxed in was a complete jerk off to a driver, other then that three or four of us just end up in a pack, and sometimes a four wheeler thinks he can slip through and gets caught in the middle. |
| Thanks so much for that thoughtful reply. I really appreciate it. I'll try to be more thoughtful on the road because of it, and I'll definitely be less frustrated with bad truck drivers. Thank you. | Honestly, if you see some one driving dangerously, or unsafely, get away from them, and also see if they have the company name on the truck and grab the truck number, or the trailer number, the time, and location, then find the companies phone number when you get home, and give them a ring and let them know (ask for their safety department) by reporting them you are doing everyone on the road a favor, and a possible favor for the trucking company...unless the driver has a valid reason for making an unsafe move, the company will most likely reprimand the driver in some way (probably addtional training or a road test) |
| I was only reported once by a driver who thought I was being unsafe, I had a load of half filled liquid barrels in my truck, and went around a curve that was posted as 55 at 45 mph because I knew the liquid was going to slosh around, my company laughed at the guy that called me in and said I was doing a good job, beacause he was just pissed that I added less then a minute to his commute | |
| After you pee in a jug are you done with that jug or will you keep peeing into it untill it's full? And what do you do with it when it's full? Do you pitch it or empty it in a toilet or what? | Depends on the situation, Yes most truckers pee in a jug at some point in their driving career, its bound to happen, me personally I always emptied the jug in a toliet asap, and then discarded it in a trash can (I know youre all thinking it should have gone in recycling, but it had my pee in it, and I doubt any one want recycled plastic that has had pee in it) |
| What about pooping? You stop for that right? One of my uncles was a truck driver and he said he wore a diaper but my uncle was a fucking freak so I don't know if that's all truck drivers or if it was just him. | Yes most of us stop to poop, not something thats comfortable to do in a truck...although there is a story floating around about a pair of team drivers that cut a hole in the floor of the truck so they could poop going down the road, not sure of the validity of it, but it wouldn't surprise me |
| Where is the worst state to drive in? Craziest thing you have seen? | Hmm it really depends on what you define as worst, but I would have to say Nebraska or Wyoming (no offense to any residents) its just about 400 some odd miles of nothing after going through omaha, and another 400 some odd miles through Wyoming of nothingness. |
| The craziest thing I have seen, was probably watching a driver that just got his cdl and first truck get to over confident trying to back up in a truck stop, and take off the side of an owner operators brand new truck, with an V sized sleeper. He hit the poor guys truck while backing up, and didnt stop, just kept going and put a giant hole all the way across the guys truck before he realized it. | |
| Driver with 5 years OTR here...you've never been to New England apparently. Hardly any truck stops, tolls everywhere, dense urban traffic, tight roads, low clearances, bad weather, bad roads, old infrastructure in general. | I enjoy actully enjoyed the New England area, I typically picked up chocolate or Ben and Jerrys out of vermont, and they both came with samples. However maine is pretty bad, but the worst thing in the north east is trying to back into a dock that wasnt designed for your truck, I had a delivery to a small warehouse in a 73 foot long truck, the distince from the dock to the wall in front of the dock was 76 feet...we ended up having to put a pallet jack in te truck and use a fork lift to get the product into the warehouse, because no driver could hit the dock |
| Nebraska beat out Kansas? I'd rather drive through Nebraska to get to Colorado than Kansas. (Missouri resident, where at least we have things to look at while we drive across the state) | I forgot Kansas exists |
| What's the scariest situation you've ever been in? | I have been in a lot of scary situations, probably the scariest, I got caught in a winter storm going across Nebraska with an empty trailer, high winds and the road turned to ice pretty fast. An empty trailer in high winds is like driving with a 53' sail, add in the ice, and its a recipe for disaster. I looked in my mirror and was able to read the company logo on the side of the trailer, I luckily was able to get enough speed up to keep from jack knifing, but stopped and waited it out as soon as I could safely do so. |
| Also driving through New York City for the first time was pretty scary | |
| How much do you get paid? | I started out at 36 cents a mile, plus a 5 cent bounus for driving a "lightweight truck" which just means a truck with a small sleeper, which is the truck in the picture I posted for proof, I later upgraded to a regular size sleeper, and lost the 5 cent bonus, I averaged 2500 miles a week as a solo driver, so I made about 900 dollars a week |
| Thanks dogcmp6 ... I've always wondered this. Did you ever go "all out" to make some extra $$? Does the pay-per-mile approach cause drivers to push their limits a little too much? | I literlly ran my 70 hour DOT clock down to 3 minutes one week I was running so hard, but I did like 4k miles that week. The problem with being paid by the mile is that it is not enough compensation, if the truck gets held up in a dock because of a shipper or receiver they are supposed to pay detention pay depending on the contract with the trucking company, but so few actually pay it never pans out, so if the truck isnt rolling you arent making money. |
| What are the guidelines on passengers? Could you bring a friend with you for company/shits and giggles? | It depends on the company you work for an their policy, some will allow you to bring any one on the truck as long as they are over a certain age, and some only allow you to bring immediate family, it also depends if any one has that much time to devote to coming off...remember if you have some one else on the truck, there is no personal space |
| Are you saving fuel (how much?) druvung close behind another truck? is this done regulary? | No, you are not, the fuel savings for a four wheeler or another truck drafting a truck does not outweigh the concerns for safety, you honestly save maybe 1 percent or less of fuel through drafting, unless you are 10 feet or less off the rear of our trailer...fun fact, that big metal bumper that hangs down off the back is a mandatory piece of steel designed to stop the driver and passenger of a tailgating vehicle from losing their head in a rear end collision with a truck...I dont encourage or support drafting, it is just stupid, there are many other methods to save fuel that work much better. |
| All of that being said, there is a computer technology that is being tested for big trucks so that they can essentially tailgate and mimic each other exactly in order to help trucking fleets save fuel. | |
| What other tactics save fuel? | Take it easy on the accelrator, dont drive faster then you have to, watch brake lights, and practice braking early when you see a red light and keep rolling until it turns green if you can, it uses more fuel to start a vehicle moving then it does to keep it moving or get it going faster once its already moving. |
| You just contradicted yourself. | I dont see a contradiction |
| Is there a valid reason why so many truck drivers insist on constantly being in the middle lane on three lane highways? I drive from Seattle to Portland 2-3 times a month and this always causes the left lane to get jammed up on I-5. | Actually yes there is, the center lane is typically what is called the lane of least resistance, its going to be the lane that has the most vehicles that aren't planning to slow down, exit, or merge into it until they are keeping up with the flow of traffic, and the left lane is probably a restricted lane for commercial vehicles, so every one wants to get around us and ends up in the left lane...kinda handy if you are driving a truck, but not so much fun if you want to get around us |
| Yeah I figured it was something along those lines, it's just annoying at the time. More the fault of the asshole driving 65 in the left lane when the speed limit is 70. | Yeah, most of us recognize that we are a rather large inconvenience on the road, but everything we buy has to get across the country one way or another, and 90 percent of everything is on a truck at some point before it ends up in your hands...the trucks the company I worked for are governed at 62, so we know were slowing everyone down, but we save on fuel, and its less wear and tear on your self and the vehicle to drive for 10 hours at a slower speed |
| Did you enjoy children begging you to pull the horn string or did it get old? | I throughly enjoyed it, I loved pulling the air horn string, there are even college girls that flashed there boobs at me for pulling the string when they wanted me too, ok that only happened twice, but still boobies. |
| On the kids asking me to pull it, I always would, no one wants to deny a child happiness | |
| I was thinking of getting my CDL and maybe doing some trucking. What's the process like towards getting your CDL and the hiring process with a trucking company? | I would recommend looking at your options to obtain your cdl, for me I went through a Mega carriers cdl school (if you pm me I will shoot you a link and tell you more about them) the other option is a cdl mill or just a regular cdl school, or a community college. The process to get your get your cdl varies from state to state, but typically you have to get a CDL learners permit, which means you have to study and pass several exams, then you have to learn about the rules and regulations for CDL drivers, learn how to actually drive the truck, and take a 3 part exam for your license, the 3 part exam consists of Pre-trip inspection, Backing/Maneuvering, and a road test |
| Is there a lot of man on man action happening at truck stops? I'd like to think so. | As a straight man, I dont know, as someone who has sat in the truck stop with the radio on, probably, there are gay truckers, just like there are gay men, and they need some lovin too |
| Thank you for doing this AMA. I have always wanted to be a truck driver (I'm in my mid-20's) But my primary concern has been in the confidence of driving something so big. Is it really hard to learn how to drive a truck, especially in urban areas? Or do you just learn in training and then end up acquiring the skill almost naturally? How is the pay and job market for truckers right now? | I am going to tell you right off the bat, it is a fun job, and it has a great job market, but the pay varies greatly throughout the industry. it is not an easy job, it took me 4 weeks to earn my cdl, and about 3 months with a trainer to get to the point where I was driving solo, eventually it becomes like driving a car, and it is easier then you might think, the best way to learn is to get behind the wheel of one and learn, shoot me a PM if you are interested in otr, and I will give you the scoop on the company that trained me. |
| How much meth did you do? | None, illegal drug use is absolutely not allowed in the industry, and now a days is taken pretty seriously, all companies are required to randomly and regularly screen drivers for drugs, and you risk losing your CDL and more jail time then normal if you are caught with any on the truck |
| What's the longest drive, in terms of miles, you've done? How do you combat highway boredom? Are the sleepers comfortable? | In a single day I have done 650 miles, the longest solo run I had was just over 2500 miles, and when running teams I think our longest run was around 3500 miles |
| Favorite restaurants? | All of the truck stops have about the same food, but there is one in Flagstaff and Wyoming called Little America that has pretty good food, and 50 cent ice cream cones, other wise I stay away from the chain truck stops and look for the mom and pop ones if I want a good meal |
| Do you still use the truck shortwave radio to communicate to other drivers? To plan revenge convoys and stuff. | Yes, some of us still use cbs, I always used mine just to get updates on weather, road and traffic conditions along my route, and to shoot the shit with other drivers. and of course to find out what swift or england driver fucked up and rolled it in the middle of my route. |
| How many prostitutes have you murdered? | None, but I threw a piss bottle at one that tried to break into my truck one night |
| How accurate is the movie "Convoy"? And did you enjoy that movie? | Its not accurate, sometimes we end up packed together, but convoys of trucks are illegal now as it was used in the early years as a tactic to avoid bears (cops). That being said sometimes in High wind areas I have communicated with another driver, and arranged to run with him if he was empty and I was loaded or vice versa as a tactic to shield the empty rig from the wind. |
| Oh and a a stereotypical one i have to ask, are you a fan of country/western music? (Personally i'm a huge fan of it) | I am a fan of country music, I prefer the older style, but there are some artists in the modern stuff I like, I like the more folky sounding artists, look up Will Hoge, and Joe Pug, you may enjoy them. |
| Wow, that's really insightful, thank you. And i will look them up, country is a favourite but i listen to near enough anything. Oh and one more thing, what was your handle? | My cb Handle was fluffy, because its been my nickname since I was a kid ( I was using it before gabriel igalsis) |
| So I am curious about the effort to increase the number of CNG or LNG class 8 trucks on the road. What are the thoughts among truckers about the potential future for natural gas powered trucking? Is it as cost effective as some companies claim? In your opinion, what are its shortcomings or benefits, if any? Thanks for taking the time! | I think CNG and LNG trucks are a good idea...for local runs and day cabs, due to the long fill up times, and limited range, my understanding is most of these trucks have a range of 400-600 miles, which will get you as far as you can legally drive in a day, but with the limited range on them, and the limited number of places to fuel are not viable for OTR |
| Elmer Fudpucker - Damn D.O.T. Link to www.youtube.com. I always laughed at that song when I was driving. 10+ years 1,000,000+ miles. :) | What he said, but his link is only for part 1 of the song, heres the link for part 1&2 Link to www.youtube.com |
| Autopilot trucks -- will they make trucking safer or less safe? | I think they are a viable solution to help with driver fatigue, and move freight faster, however I think that trucks will always need to have somebody in them, if you're shipping 100k worth of product, do you really want it unattended rolling down the road, and what if the truck breaks down, or needs to fuel up? my opinion is that computers can remove a lot of human error, but we still need humans in the cab to keep our roadways safe |
| What is an incredibly annoying or dangerous habit that drivers do, and what can I do to make sure I don't ruin a trucker's day? | Tailgating, it annoys the hell out of me when I see a trucker tailgating a four wheeler, they should know better, the best thing to keep from ruining their day is just to give them plenty of room, and remember that they lack the ability to stop and maneuver as fast or as well as you. |
| Why did you decide to be a trucker? What do You do now? | I dropeed out of college, and had no clue what to do with my life, as a guy i think we have all had that 6-10 year old kid in us that has always been curious about what its like to drive a big rig, so I decided to explore it, and have a year of adventure, I will say it wasnt an easy year, but damn was it worth it...right now I am in between jobs, but my girlfriend and my family wanted me home, and I want to have a life, so eventually something will come up |
| Find a local day trip job where you're home every night. It totally changes trucking for you. No more sleeping in a truck or gone for long times, but still the day of freedom out on the road. | Ive been lookiing, but where I live, all of the local jobs involve driving in chicago, on the surface streets |
| Woah so you did all this within a year? | Yes I did |
| With fuel costs being a constant factor, was there much excitement (or even chatter) about the prospect of CNG and LNG engines for trucks, like the offerings from Cummings/Westport? | Not really, My personal opnion on it is that with the long fill up times for CNG and LNG , and the limited range it is only viable for local companies, where they can fill the trucks on the company yard, other wise I would just stick with diesel for now |
| Have you ever had a long ways to go and a short time to get there? | Every damn day I was driving |
| How much drug testing is involved in trucking? | Depends on the company, some do hair follicle testing, and some do Urine testing, but usually its a typical 5 panel test, I was tested every 2-3 months at my company, but it is a good amount. |
| Hey thanks for taking some questions, I honestly hate 18 wheelers because they are slow and accidents waiting to happen. But I do like stocked stores and food so I see the need for trucks, unless we drastically expand freightrail. Why do truckers insist on passing other trucks on a two lane highway when they are going essentially the same speed? Sooo frustrating. | Trucks typically pass each other because the want to squeeze in every mile, but most any one who is driving knows how fast each companies truck will go, the comapny I drove for was governed at 62 MPH, so if I knew some one was governed at 61 or 60, I wouldnt try to pass them, I also always ran around 58 MPH to leave my self enough speed if I need to pass some one. some drivers are just idiots and want to have highway drag races. (Im looking at you swift and werner) |
| Why do truck drivers leave crazy amounts of room in front of them in traffic? Why do truckers just generally clog up highways? Only car highways has everything going so much smoother. | Personally, I always left crazy amounts of room in front of me in traffic to give me time to get in, and also because cars are going to weave in and out in front of you, so why risk the accident, when you can just give them the room to screw around, also if you have a cushion it helps keep traffic moving. |
| Unfortunately I cant explain why we clog up high ways, typically we drive slower then cars, so that may be why, and a few states have tried to do trucks theses lanes only and cars these lanes only...but the four wheelers dont pay any attention and would always end up in the truck lanes, and cause issues | |
| Have you ever had to use a runaway truck ramp? If so, was it scary? I've always seen them when driving through West Virgina. | I personally have not had to use one, and if you do lose control of a vehicle and have to use one the fines are massive, however if it is your last resort or only resort use it when you have a chance. they are just very lose sand/gravel designed to stop anything that hits it safely |
| Can you talk to any trucker you see on the radio? Is it distance proximity to pick up signal? | It depends on the CB set up in your car and the rig you are trying to communicate, it also depends on if the driver even has a CB now a days and has it on, but typicaly with a decent legal cb set up you can get 1-3 miles |
| Have you seen Rampart? | I have not |
| So the time limits are really strict? I thought truckers were all driving around with dual log books and other tricks to evade the duty time rules. Can you explain who duty times are enforced? Thanks. | Yes, time limits can be really strict depending on the shippers contract with the receiver, some drivers do use dual log books to get around this, but they are just screwing themselves, our trucks had elogs on our qualcomm (which is a device on our dash that lets us email dispatch, and runs our clocks for us, kinda handy) the DOT and police can enforce duty times, and we have to hand them our logs if they ask for them...we are allowed 14 hours on duty and 11 hours of drive time, so once you start moving for the day you have 14 hours to drive out your 11, you then have to take a 10 hour break. However even with elogs you can cheat the system by going off duty when you should be on duty, as long as you arent driving this seems to work. |
| Why did you get out of the industry? | Mainly I got out of the industry because of my dispatcher, and my company refusing to let me get on another load board, I was teaming with another guy where we should have been getting 6-7k miles per week, and we were only getting 3k miles per week (teaming the truck makes the same as a solo driver, but the mileage pay is then split 50-50 between the two drivers) besides that, when you drive OTR, the highway and your truck is your life, you go weeks, even months without seeing your family, and it is an extremely high stress and dangerous job. |
| Is it true that once on the job you instantly start fullfilling trucker stereotypes (mannerisms, slamming mugs down, talking with a rough crude voice, talking almost completely in 3 digit numbers and having rough hands)? If so how does this change happen so suddenly, and how do you stop being all truckerlike when you get home? | You dont fulfill the stereotypes right away, but with anything when you are around certian things long enough you do fulfill some sterotypes, but it defintley isnt a sudden change...and as for when your home, well once its in your blood, its in there for good |
| Have you had any less-than-desirable interactions with police? What kind of measures, if any, do you take to avoid police attention? | I personally have not, I had one interaction with a dot officer who pulled me into a scale, but he really didnt care he just wanted to check my paper work. I typically just drove right, avoided having an accident, and never brought attention to my self |
| Freightliner or Peterbuilt? | Depends, I like the style of the peterbilts, but the freightliner is just a lot more comfortable, easier to move around in, and set up better then a pete to cook in, and with the introduction of DEF fluid to big trucks in the past few years, Freightliners have had less issues with the system then petes. |
| Backing up with trailer you have to steer the truck in the opposite direction of your intended direction for the trailer... how do you reverse and steer with two trailers? | It takes a lot of skill to back up a double, my understanding is you can pretty much only go straight back, if you want to back any where else you have to play musical trailers and move them one at a time |
| Last time I passed through Georgia I saw a ton of "light touch massage parlors". Are those really whore houses and did you use them? | Some are "happy ending" massage parlors, theres a few trucking forums with a list that are actual whore houses/happy ending parlors, and those that are legit, but I never used one |
| 1) Why only a year? 2) Reasons why someone should go into trucking 3) Reasons why someone should stay away! | I only did for a year because that was my contract with the company I went through for CDL school, It is a great job if you want to see the country, and have some freedom in your day to day life, honestly there are only 3 things most companies care about, and that is that you are a safe driver (by their standards or your driving record standards...not a fool proof system) that you keep your clocks legal (ok not all companies care about this) and that you make your appointments on time, other then that you have all of the freedom in the world, so not a bad gig. However the downside is you can have extremly tight deadlines, it is very high stress and exhausting to drive a truck for 10-11 hours a day as you have to be focused the whole time you are moving, and it takes some time to work on your skill, and if you get cocky or over confident you will screw your self...also its not a steady check week to week, you can have a 3k mile week followed by a 700 mile week if you break down, or if the company dosent have enough freight. |
| Questions | Answers |
|---|---|
| Dose the crew have wild sex orgies below deck? | None that I knew, although I heard some funny stories. One time we got to NYC, and two (crew) guys were led off the ship in handcuffs. I guess they had made some porno in their cabin with a 17 year old girl who's parents were less than impressed. Statutory rape all around for them...not a good scene. |
| But, as someone with my own cabin, who has no problem talking to girls...I did okay. Better than okay...not gonna lie. It was pretty awesome. Hard to have real relationships though... | |
| Level any of them up to anal? | Relevant username upvote...no comment. |
| Although, I do remember being in my cabin once with my roommate and we heard people banging away in the next room (walls are pretty thin, you hear everything), and we were like "wow...she's really screaming" | |
| And then we remembered that the two guys in that room were gay. That was kind of an OMG moment. | |
| Big Gay Frank...I could write a hell of a book about that guy, but I'd probably get sued. | |
| Epic. Did you give him a high five? | No, we fucking hated that guy. We messed with his shit so much. It was actually pretty cruel. It wasn't because he way gay, just to be straight (see what I did there?), because there are more than enough gay guys on ships...but it was because he was an ASSHOLE. |
| I remember one April Fools, we turned his toilet off from outside his cabin (from a lockbox in the hall) all day, and eventually he came out and complained about it...so we told him to go down and file a report. While he was doing that, we turned it back on so it worked when the guys came to fix it. They chewed him out, and left, and he went inside. We turned it off again. This happened more than twice. | |
| We also once taped him to a pole in the theatre with carpet tape during drydock. We had these big rolls of plastic that we'd cover the carpets with, and we just held him against a pole, taped him up, and left him there. We got in shit for that. We also got in shit for taping his door shut from the outside so he was trapped in his cabin. | |
| But the best Big Gay Frank story was one that took weeks to plan. We thought it up one night drunk in the crew bar. The second day every cruise we hold a "Captain's Welcome Aboard Cocktail" party for everyone, and I recorded what the bridge camera sees during that time that day. The next week, the night before we did it again, I put in the tape from the week before (during the afternoon, 12 hours off). It was like 5am, but we had footage from 5pm the week before. We called him, and convinced him he had slept all day, and was missing Captain's Cocktail. He told us we were full of shit, so we said "check the damn bridge channel if you don't believe us". He did. He freaked out, jumped into his suit and ran out the door. We were all waiting outside...drunk as fuck. That was awesome. | |
| We also turned off his alarm clock (cut power to his room) a lot. He got in shit...but he was just a prick to everyone, so we justified it that way. | |
| I upvoted this halfway through, knowing it was just going to continue to be awesome. | We were so mean to that guy. |
| What was the craziest thing you did on the ship and got away with? | Fell in love with a guest. We met on a cruise. She had just gotten out of college, and was celebrating, and we hit it off immediately. We were so inseperable that I actually brought back with me on a later cruise because she fell in love with me...and then she cried the whole day when that was over (the last day we ever saw each other). |
| We both knew it was against the rules, but we didn't even try to hide it. I remember sitting in the theatre one night the first week with her watching a show, and we were really cozy. One of my friends came by and was like "you're not even trying to hide it...are you trying to get fired?". | |
| If it happened, I wouldn't have been sad about it. It was amazing. She was amazing. | |
| And it never happened (me getting fired). They were so cool about it that they actually allowed me to bring her back on as a guest a month later. We still talk. She's married, and super happy...and I'm super happy for her, but I think it might have been the most romantic two weeks in both of our lives. Just wasn't meant to be...too much distance. | |
| That was the craziest two weeks of my cruising life for sure. Bermuda cruises are probably the best party cruises for the crews, because you actually get overnights in ports. | |
| Wow. Cool story. Thanks for sharing. | Yeah...no worries. That was a great two weeks. Sometimes that's all you get. I'm not sad because it's over...just glad that it happened. I have photos (even the cheesy onboard ones of us in our suits/dresses). |
| Would have been a cooler story if it ended like Titanic. | With credits? |
| Yay you did one! One question, how much of the boat is never seen by patrons? I assume it takes an army to run ships of thy size. | Lots of crew spaces onboard, and most crew only see upstairs when they're working, so we need lots of space downstairs for everyone. Usually the ships have anywhere from 700-1500 crew on them...depending on size. |
| Unrelated question, what is the length and diameter of your penis? | Speaking of unrelated size...um...hmm. RAMPART! |
| What do all these people do on their downtime (if there even is any) Do you get to hang out on the boat? | I imagine you're talking about crew. The crew do a lot of working out, watching movies, drinking, hanging out in the crew badayroom, etc. |
| I was lucky, I had a good position, so I was allowed in guest areas when I wasn't working...so I used to go check out the shows, eat in the dining rooms, go to the lounges, sit up on the deck looking at stars (never seen stars like that...nothing can prepare you for how many stars there are at sea, until you're out there...wow), and lots of stuff. I really enjoyed it, but we all worked really hard. I averaged 90 hours a week. | |
| How many possibilities are there for crew to go above deck, or are you mainly cooped up in hallways / rooms while you're there? Do you get your own cabins? | Some crew members get their own cabins, and those are the same ones who are allowed upstairs. Usually crew share, and they're only allowed up when they're working. |
| That actually sounds really damn cool. But holy shit! 90 hours? Do you get paid by the hour or one fixed rate. | Fixed rate. I worked it out one month, and I was working for $8.50/hr. We worked like dogs, but we played like animals. |
| Dogs are animals. Checkmate. | Then we partied like dogs that like to party. |
| It's only fun if you get free beer and daiquiris And by extension, it's all gun and games until someone gets AIDS. | Crew welfare had to throw one party a month, with free alcohol. They were awesome parties. I used to DJ some of them, and wow...sweaty. |
| Christmas Eve 2009 was pretty sweet. I was working in Brazil doing a fill in (couple of months), and had just been dumped by my girlfriend at home (over the phone after 4 years...sucked). I was dj-ing in the crew bar that night, and it went until 4am, and then it went back to my place until me and a girl from brazil and a girl from england kicked everyone out of my room. karma is beautiful. | |
| And nobody got aids. | |
| How did you become a cruise-ship employee? What is the term of service like for that kind of employment? | I answered an ad in the weekly newspaper and had an interview with a hiring agent. It wasn't that hard to get work...I had already had a lot of experience, so it wasn't a stretch. |
| Usually for people like me the contracts are either 6 months on / 6 weeks off (unpaid), or 4 months on / 2 months off (paid). It all depends on the company. Crew usually work anywhere from 6-9 months, and officers usually work 10 weeks on / 10 weeks off (paid). | |
| What's it take to become an officer? | Not a lot...some navigation/safety courses, and then you start out as a second officer. |
| Ohh so many questions..! It seems you've worked onboard SP and MJ - which ship is your favorite and why? Favorite port / itinerary and why? Did you get to interact with the guests much? How did the entertainment-crew like yourself go along with the rest of the crew, say engine and hotel? Assuming you had your own company email-address as a productions manager? If yes, on avarage how many emails did you receive each day? :) What happens onboard stays onboard? Is partnering with other crew-members common? | SP and MJ...do you work for Royal Caribbean? |
| What are the hours like for most people working on a cruise ship? I can't imagine the standard 9-5 Monday-Friday would fit the average employee. What is the hierarchy like aboard the ship for employees? How much control does the captain really have? | I worked 10 hours a day, minimum, everyday for 6 months. Usually worked out to about 90 hrs a week. It's a crushing workload, but after ships...everything else seems easy. My job now feels like a holiday. It's a class system onboard ships. Crew at the bottom, hotel staff next, and then officers at the top. It's totally messed up, because the officers are usually the least trained people onboard, and have no transferrable job skills on land...but somehow they're gods on ships. Many hotel staff have more formal training for their jobs, but no respect from the officers...and I'd rather have a crew member save my life in an emergency than an officer. |
| officers are usually the least trained people on-board? What about the training they get all those years at school? | It's more like months, and then they work their way up onboard. They do basic training and certification, and then start as second officers. Most of what they learn is onboard. I had more formal schooling than all of the Captains I worked with. |
| Did you ever get to enjoy any of the places the ship went? After the 6 months of work, you had 6 weeks unpaid off, correct? Did you go home? What did you do in those 6 weeks? | I was lucky...I was usually first off the ship, and last on the ship. I saw EVERYTHING. I can't believe how lucky I got...I'm glad I took photos. I have 20,000 photos that I'll love looking at on my deathbed ;) |
| I usually went home for vacations. I tried to do as little as possible. Slept in, was lazy, didn't answer my phone, took a time out. Ship life is hard...I needed the break. | |
| I did go to Montreal once on vacation to hang out with a girl I met...that was cool. | |
| Formal schooling has very little relevance to seamanship. | They have almost the same training we do. i find it interesting that in most sea disasters, it's never the officers who help...it's usually the crew/staff. the officers are usually nowhere to be seen. |
| "but somehow they're gods on ships." | Just because you're trained to read a chart, or use a navigation computer, doesn't mean you're a god...by any stretch. |
| Because they are trained to run the ships. You're not. | I could do any job on the bridge, with less than a year's training. |
| SP and MJ...do you work for Royal Caribbean? | Favorite Royal Caribbean ship was the RD. Spent 2 whole years of my life on that ship. |
| Favorite port was usually Vancouver, because I could go home. But, as far as places that weren't home...wow...that's a tough one. I'll think about it on my way home from work and let you know later. | |
| I was paid to be around guests...I was really lucky. I met some amazing people running around with my camera. I had a great job and lots of days where I was like "I can't believe I'm getting paid for this". | |
| Usually the entertainment dep't got along really well...we were all outgoing, and partied pretty hard, so we knew everyone. People used to hate on the singers/dancers because they hardly worked, but they always forgot how many years it took them to get to that position, and the extra month they spend rehearsing before they even get on the ships. | |
| I had an email...got tons. Not sure if there was an average, but it was a lot. A lot more than I get now. | |
| Since crew can't hook up with guests, yeah, we all hooked up with each other. I dated a lot of other crew members, and even tried to start a life with one once we decided we wanted to go back to life on land. Didn't work out though...hard to maintain a normal life when your first date was the Great Wall Of China. We kind of fizzled...ship relationships are hard to maintain, because they're so good when they start. It's hard to top the Great Wall when you work 9-5 at a normal job. | |
| Thanks so much for your answers! I'm so excited to hear your version, almost all is pretty much identical with the stories I've heard from crew working for other cruise liners, even down to relationship with other crew members :-) The girls in the entertainment dept are hot commodity in the other departments onboard, as I've heard.. :-) I didn't notice any footage from the RD? And yes, I've heard she's a nice ship.. Btw, I work in freight forwarding, I move orders from rccl's suppliers to the ships, so I regularly email with miami and various crew onboard the ships. I know there's a lot of emails in that company.. Always fun to see the chief engineer desperate for a bolt and gasket while hotel need their wine and entertainment need their costumes and lighting, all yesterday.. Last question - did you attend any drydocks? If yes, I assume your task was to document it all? Thanks again! | Cruise ships are a big operation, that's for sure. It blew me away once I started to see what really goes into (and off of) those ships in each port. I remember a line of gas trucks in Ushuaia (Argentina) that lasted all day once. I couldn't believe we could hold that much gas. Truck after truck, after truck, after truck. From when we got there, until we left. I made this video with my own gear again, in my cabin while I was onboard. Didn't have space on the video gear upstairs, so after the drydock I put it together in my cabin whenever I had time. Sorry about the voiceover quality, it was a cheap mic, in a loud room (my cabin), on a ship. You can't get away from noise on a ship. Drydocks...intense. Other than a newbuild, it doesn't get any rawer than that on cruise ships. Those were pretty memorable experiences...almost more memorable than any experiences with guests. |
| What kind of personal time were you given to explore the places that the cruise visited? | I had lots of personal time. For me, I worked when the ship was at sea. When the ship was docked, as long as the TV channels were running and the satellite dishes were tracking, I could go off and explore. I did everything I could. I knew it was my once-in-a-lifetime chance, and I went for it. Usually I was the first person off, last person on...and I tried to get as far from the ship as I could. Went to the pyramids, on safari, diving, rented jeeps and cars, stayed in resorts, stayed up all night partying (all over the world). |
| It was awesome. I'm so glad I did it. | |
| What advice do you have for people who want to leave the little port "bubble" that the ships usually take you to? I did this in Cozumel and found a dive bar with cheap local beer and homemade guacamole. | The only problem with that, is if something happens...nobody is going to wait. We used to leave people behind in Cozumel every week, because they wouldn't make it back to the ship in time. If you're on a ship tour, the ship waits...if not, you're on your own. |
| I'd love to do it again, but I'm a little intimidated because I have no idea what is beyond the port or how safe things are beyond the bubble. Any recommendations in general about doing this, or specific to Belize would be great. | Not sure about Belize...never been. |
| Thanks for the reply, and thanks for doing this AMA. Your responses have been top notch! | I've got a stomach flu...haha. |
| For people who plan on going onto a cruise in the near future, what are a few things you think we should know before booking one? Such as stay away from this or do that etc etc... | Go on the tours, meet as many people as you can onboard, try to get cabins away from the public spaces/lifeboats, and realize that the longer the cruise...the older the clientele. |
| Also...don't forget to tip people...a lot of times, that's most of their wages. | |
| What happens to criminals on the ships? If I murdered a passenger would I be put in the brig? Did they even have a brig? Would I be arrested at the next place the ship docked? | We have security onboard. Yes, yes and yes. It's happened...a few times. Not while I was onboard, but I've heard stories. |
| I heard this story from one ship that a guy killed his wife in his room, threw her off the balcony and didn't throw hard enough...she landed on the boat deck, right outside of the dining room while people were eating dinner. They went up to the room, and the whole place was covered in blood. Craazy. | |
| If the ship is say, in Norway, would they be charged/arrested by Norway's laws? | They're usually ushered out of the country and then dealt with at home (or in the US), if it's something that happened on the ship. Local laws don't really have anything to do with crime onboard. But, if it's off the ship, then they deal with local laws. |
| Do you get to eat the food that cruise ship guests get to eat or do they give you something completely different? | Both. |
| I was able to eat in the guest dining rooms (if I signed up to eat in there and paid tips), and I was able to eat in the speciality restaurants (discount). Most crew can, but most crew don't. There's an unspoken rule on ships that crew don't eat in guest areas, even when they're allowed. It sucks that it's that way...they're usually allowed (if they sign up and pay) but it's frowned on when it happens...so it never happens. | |
| The crew food is actually pretty good. In some cases better. It's realy international, and it's healthier. We don't waste as much, and we don't have the fatty sweet stuff they have upstairs. | |
| You could always tell when we got hard ice cream in the mess that a lot of people had died that cruise, because they used our cold storage for bodies when the morgue was full. Happened a few times...always on Panama Canal cruises. Creepy, but true. | |
| What...the actual fuck... | I know, eh? |
| Not sure if kidding... | Not kidding at all. No joke. I know it sounds hard to believe, but yeah...Panama Canal cruises are killers. People go there because it's a "bucket list" thing, and the demographics on that cruise are way older than almost any other cruise. It's a big deal for old people. |
| People always end up spending too much time outside on canal day, and people always die. We try to go around and keep people hydrated and out of the sun, but if they're on their balcony...not much we can do. We don't know until they're gone. | |
| You could always tell when we got hard ice cream in the mess that a lot of people had died that cruise, because they used our cold storage for bodies when the morgue was full. Happened a few times...always on Panama Canal cruises. Creepy, but true. | Yep. And someone always dies canal day. Always. My first week onboard ships, I was sitting in the crew bar with the trumpet player in the orchestra, and he was "i'll bet you $5 someone dies canal day". I was like "fuck, are you kidding? that's sick...i'm not betting you". Sure enough someone died. I think 3 people died that day. People always die on Panama Canal cruises...they actually go on the cruise to die. I can't remember a Costa Rica port day, or a Curacao port day (either side of the canal) that we weren't met at the pier with a hearse. |
| Wat. | |
| What was the highest mortality rate for any one cruise? Are there seriously fully functioning morgues on these cruises?That can perform autopsy and everything? | No, they just store people. they don't get into that. i'd say 5 people on a panama cruise once. that was a bad week. other than that, there was one or two a few times. it was fairly regular...they are big communities. shit happens. |
| I remember on one Panama cruise, someone died in the gym bench pressing. The captain got called and showed up and said "that's why i don't work out". Haha...awesome. Probably not the smartest thing to say, but he didn't care. | I'm just bummed I never got to play "Panama" on the ship's PA when we were going through the canal. I played it on the pool deck once, and that was fun...but I wanted to blast it everywhere. |
| Moving a ship that big between the oceans requires a human's lifeforce to make the trip successfully or what? | We used to joke that we ran the ship of the power of masturbation, and the broken dreams of third world children. people on ships are pretty dark and jaded. ;) |
| Why Panama? Yellow Fever, malaria? | No...it's old people, and exposure/dehydration usually. or just old people and natural causes. it's a bucket list cruise. |
| One thing that always puzzled me is how cheap these cruises are. So my guess is they make money off of casinos, drinks and food? | Yep...you nailed it. Casinos, drinks, food, tours, and shopping programs all equal $$$. People spend as much on the ship as they do on their cruise ticket usually. One ship I worked on did $1mil/week in the Casino. |
| Thanks for the confirmation :) Which cruise lines do you recommend for first timers if you can pick any one of them and time/location is not a factor and on a typical/average budget? | How old are you and what do you like doing? That matters a lot. |
| Well.. crap.. | I don't know what you do for work, so I don't know. It all depends on what you do. There are lots of different jobs on ships. If you're a graphic designer, then I'd say it's not a great job, but if you're a Frank Sinatra impersonator, then it's a great job. Every country has hiring agents, and the big lines have websites that you can apply to, but I think they still use agents for interviews, so it's better just to find out who they are and go straight to them. As far as an interesting thing to do to find out about the world...hell ya. If you're young and you have nothing tying you down...it's awesome. Better than any backpacking I've ever done (and I've done lots). You get paid to freaking travel, and hang out with cool young people who have enough personality to leave home and explore the world. You might meet people in high school, and you might think they're your friends, but the people you meet on ships...they're forever. The best people I've ever met worked on ships. |
| Oh and, I was thinking of doing some work on a cruise ship after (danish) college, can you recommend this line of work? | |
| How about 25 years old. Live in the US. I like all sorts of adventure sports. Cost isn't necessarily an issue. I don't want to waste money though. | Sports staff would be cool. Work on the flowriders on the big ships. I know a couple guys from Brazil that installed a few of them. Fun job. You work on the rock climbing wall, the sports deck, and the waterpark. Some other bs mixed in there during down time to get your 10 hrs a day, but it's one of the more-fun jobs for sure. One of my good friends did that, and we used to take the rock climbing gear off the ship with us in Alaska and go rock climbing on our own. So.Much.Fun. I skateboard/surf, but haven't been on a ship with a flowrider...when i take a cruise, i'll do one of those ships for sure...just for that. |
| A couple of questions, 1) What kind of work did you do on the ship? | 1 - I started as Stage Staff (theatre flunkie), and then got promoted to Sound & Light Tech. After that, I was promoted again to Video Tech, and then again to Head Video Tech. I did that for a few years, changed companies and worked as the Stage/Broadcast Manager on a ship. I worked there for a year, and then took a break from ships. In 2009, I went back to the first company as a Head Video Tech again and worked for a year. I'm off ships now...boring! |
| 2)Do people ever fall off of the boats? | 2 - Only Oscar falls off the ship. Nobody falls out of the boats. You only get into the boats when the ship is sinking though ;) |
| 3) Also is the music in your video from a Grand Turismo game? | 3 - No, the music is from a great band from the 90s called Slide Five. Wish they were still around...they were really great. |
| Going from doing sound to doing video is not a promotion! | It is if that's what you went to school for, and want to do with your life. |
| Also, how expensive are the crew bars? Is it expensive as shit like it is for guests, or are the prices more "normal"? | $1.25 for a beer $2 for mixed drinks/wine...last time I was on a ship. Might have gone up a bit by now. |
| What do you do now that you are off of the ship? | High-end corporate A/V. Basically, I'm a professional mover. If you need someone to move your whole living room into a cube van and then set it up somewhere, and then put it all back in the van, and bring it back to you...then I'm your guy. That was a nice thing about working A/V on ships...everything stays in one place, and doesn't move. So nice to work a night, and then not have to pack everything up. I could set a band up, and leave them setup for 6 months. If you've ever done sound, you know how nice that must sound, eh? |
| I have. Did some pyro work, so I know how much of a PITA loading up road cases can be. Know any info on the IT for the ship? Do they manage every aspect of IT (POS, terminals, network, communication, etc...) or do they just manage the intranet? | They manage it all...IT really is a good job. |
| Where would you recommend someone go to relax and enjoy the warmth? | I like brazil, hawaii, thailand, eastern caribbean...those are all great. |
| Have you ever been to grand turk? I was just there with my family a couple days ago and it was beautiful. No one tried to sell you anything either like the other ports we went to. | No...always wanted to go there. I'm Canadian, so I really want to see it. I think at some point we were going to help them out and it was going to become part of Canada (but it never happened)...and I've been curious about it since then. Flew over it once...looked nice. |
| The eastern Caribbean is beautiful...all of it. | |
| People try to sell you stuff in every port...but some are better than others. | |
| So eastern carribean is not the same as the carribeans everyone hears about? | It's smaller scale, and not as intense. i think when most people think "caribbean", they're actually thinking Jamaica or Trinidad. |
| What is the punishment for drugs on the ship? if youre caught smoking marijuana for example, will they hand you ever to the cops once the cruise ends? | Yep, and then you're fucked. |
| What was your favorite place traveling through, or rather 'cruising' through? | Just to cruise? Alaska...by far. There aren't cruises like that anywhere else in the world, except Norway and New Zealand...which are also pretty cool, but Alaska is something else. The Inside Passage is phenomenal, and a ship is the only way you can see it. |
| As far as tropical destinations...Seychelles is heaven on Earth. | |
| Seychelles is heaven on Earth. Sounds interesting, tell us more. | It's just amazing. Beautiful island, great people, isolated, clearest water I've ever swam in...it's just perfect. |
| Anyone ever fall overboard? If so, what happens? Also, what are the captains like? are the cool or do they have God complexes? | Only Oscar falls overbord. |
| American and Scandinavian captains are usually pretty cool, and Greek and Italian ones are usually not pretty cool. Exceptions to both rules. | |
| They ALL have God complexes, and they all like really young women. I remember one captain brought his wife onboard, and we were all like "hey, you brought your granddaughter...that's cool!" Not cool. | |
| What's the best way to sneak alcohol aboard? | From what i've seen working on ships, it's NOT in your carry-on luggage. Especially once the cruise starts. You're searched every time you get on the ship, and so much booze is confiscated, it's ridiculous. You get it back at the end of the cruise, but they catch so many people. |
| Security is pretty tight, and these days they open everything. I've had all my bags ripped open so many times, that you know it's going to happen...so you can't just put a bottle in a bag. | |
| The best way I've heard so far is to put it in a bag (in something not-so-obvious, and maybe not shaped like a bottle), and then in the most obvious place you can find in the bag (the place someone would see first when they open it), put a HUGE dildo right there. They'll see that, get embarrassed, close the bag, and you're good. Smile at him or her like you know where it's going tonight, and you're on your way. | |
| Worked for a friend, but you never know...that takes dedication to pull off. | |
| Maybe just get to know your cabin attendant, and persuade him to go buy some booze for you at the crew bar. Ya never know. | |
| Did I just say that out loud? No...don't do that. | |
| What are the best and most fun jobs on a cruise ship? How can one score 'deals' related to booking cruise ships? | I would say the best job on a ship is a feature entertainer, but as far as the "real" jobs on a ship...I'd say the bridge or hotel technical/admin jobs are the best, followed by the cruise staff/activities managecruise director path. They have a blast. |
| If you have a university degree and are good with kids, Youth Staff is a GREAT job. Met some really cool Youth Staff on ships...they have fun. | |
| Youth Activities Managers...sometimes not so fun. I remember my girlfriend on one ship was a YAM, and she came home one day...covered in food and asked me "you make the same amount I make, right?" I'm like "uh huh"...she's like "I hate you." | |
| Deals on ships...check their websites for last minute deals. Those are the best deals on ships. | |
| Which are the jobs that'd allow you access to the guest facilities and most contact with the guests? | Anything in the hotel/entertainment dep't. they have the most contact with the guests, and the most privileges in that sense. |
| What are the worst jobs? | Bartenders, waitresses, cabin attendants, deck & engine crew (we call them blueboys)...those are shitty jobs. |
| But again, they don't think of it that way. North Americans are spoiled people...we don't have as good an attitude about life as they do. They seem okay, and in their countries they're still making better money than they would at home (and a lot send most of their money home). | |
| We piss it away on crap in ports, and complain about having to do tour loads in the morning. We suck. | |
| Does for example, light/sound tech count as entertainment? Or does it only go as far as singers/dancers/comedians? | Light/sound is entertainment, and they have a lot of contact with guests. |
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